Feb. 20
Spotted Downtown Bellingham, Wednesday Afternoon: One of the blue-suited city downtown non-cop security cops (for a bank, it appeared) shuffling along, hands in pockets. Comes upon a stray paper cup blowing on sidewalk with the wind. Looks at it. Kicks it down the sidewalk.
And Then: Said non-cop turns the corner, walks a dozen steps, encounters another stray coffee cup. Kicks it down the sidewalk. I mean, Hammer knows those folks are not getting paid to pick up trash. But would it kill them? Just wondering. Hammer probably has unusually high standards.
Bottom Line: Just trying to bring you all the news that’s fit to kick.
Meanwhile: “Two years and one dome later,” as the headline says, Oculis Lodge is back in the news. The latest update raises all sorts of interesting questions, foremost among these: Wasn’t Oculis Lodge a Romulan Commander in the fourth “Star Trek” series?
Crest Hopes Still Cresting: Nice move by the COB to buy an additional plot of land, to make more of a consolidated chunk, up on Samish Heights. It’ll be valued a generation from now, especially if the entire area below it, connecting it to the present developed city’s east side, ever goes through.
And Then This Happened: Rare is the day, but His Royal Eminence The Right Honourable Imperial President Donald J. Trump yesterday said something a lot of folks around Puget Sound might actually agree with, during comments where he vented about the slow pace of getting new Air Force One modified 747s from Boeing, formerly of Seattle.
To Wit: The New York Times Reports: “Trump regards Boeing as almost a lost cause, according to people close to him. He often laments how far the company has fallen, wondering aloud what happened to the jet maker and why it seems incapable of building things anymore.” He’s less than wrong.
Feb. 13
Breaking/Waving News: CDN reporter Annie Todd, whose many specialties and fascinations now include vexillology, was excited this week to inform Hammer that some incurably bored members of the state Legislature have found the need to establish a flag redesign commission.
Does That Mean the Bust of Ol’ George: Complete with wig-tail and side-eye stare, is destined for the trash heap of state flag history? Maybe, maybe not. To some folks, the Father of our Country is a somewhat controversial figure in recent years, for reasons silly or serious, depending on one’s view. And fact is, he never set foot anywhere near here, nor had anything to do with the formation of Washington Territory or state. Off with his figurative head?
What We Do Know: The lawmakers in question clearly do NOT LIKE the current George flag, noting that “The flag features a detailed portrait of George Washington, making it overly complex and difficult to reproduce which is a violation of key flag design principles that prioritize simplicity.” (Hammer searches office frantically for his missing copy of Key Flag Design Principles, circa 1879).
Also That: Any new flag that includes fringe must make said fringe yellow or green. Sadly we are not making any of this up.
Bottom Line: Hammer personally would give bonus points for something that looks less like Bellingham’s official wave-festooned stereotypical green/blue motif flag and more infused with the bold, love-us-for-what-we-are simplicity of the student-designed flag of the town of Concrete.
We Interrupt This Non-Broadcast to Report: Apparently, the Elon Musk coding stooges have taken over timing of the traffic light at the Ellis/Holly/Lakeway intersection in Bellingham. Damn him.
OMG Re-Breakout the Schnapps: The National Weather Service has issued yet another cold weather advisory. Or was it a warning? Is there a difference? What is it? Who designed this uniquely obtuse system? Don’t answer that. Hammer’s own (ball peen) head is hurting, from “feels like -5.”
And Finally, So Sad to See: The passage of La Conner literary icon Tom Robbins. What a life, what a voice, what a gift. His memory shall live on into folklore status. Which something tells us he might appreciate.
Feb. 5
A Little Respect Maybe: Hammer is sort of torn over recent announcements of snow closures. Not whether those are good/bad/necessary, but how they’re being framed up on the hill at Western.
To Wit: The new thing (admission: to Hammer, this is anything that has happened since 1984) is to do a modified closure where “non-essential” workers are given the option of working from home.
Gotta Say: This is probably a nice little boost to those snowy road warriors who can tell themselves while having their two-wheel-drive Tesla towed from a ditch, “Hey, at least I’m essential!” But having that “non” tag affixed to your official job description has gotta be a bit of a comedown.
Just To Clear Up Any Confusion: “Tenured” should not be confused with “essential.” Works better in fact the other way around. And any parking-lot ticket-writer fiends characterized as “essential” is a universal miscarriage of justice.
Speaking of The Snow: Heading out to Bellingham Intergalactic Airport Sunday morning, sorry, middle of night, to catch the one morning plane outta here, Hammer found most major intersections in the city treated with ice melt, in the wee hours. Extra-nice work there by the road crew night owls.
Unfortunately: Same could not be really said of Alaska Airlines, which on same day, took the better part of an hour to de-ice an Embraer with a trace of snow on top — the result of what the pilot described as “some training apparently going on” with the crew.
To Be Crystal Clear: No knock on the tarmac crew (two people, one to drive, one to spray): Everyone who works for an airline at BLI appears to be required to perform at least three jobs. It’s like a cropduster operation where the person who takes your ticket also has to lube the landing gear. The Alaska folks at BLI all seem to work very hard and they somehow maintain patience.
We Get It: Probably necessary to maintain those record airline profits and keep the canapes fresh at Alaska board meetings.
Still: You’ve got to really work at it to make a half-hour flight with no other air traffic and/or mechanical problems an hour and 15 minutes late, requiring a three-hour investment in time from ungodly hour BLI check-in (not helped by banks of shiny auto bag drop machines being dead as doornails) to SEA arrival. Easier to drive.
Meanwhile, Down at the Waterfront: The Port of Bellingham has its lease pen out again, which for understandable reasons sends sparks of fear through some portion of the observant population. This time the government body that recently gained much derision for its embrace of a dirty, noisy scrap metal operation is opening its doors to gravel transport.
In Response: Grief counselors are standing by on South Hill.
Seriously Is This a Good Thing? Dunno. The truck-to-barge operation by a firm that already has roots in Everson sounds not unlike a previous gravel operation at the port, which managed to chunk along for many years without undue civic dyspepsia. What’s evident is the port asking questions it should’ve spent more time on with previous clients such as ABC Recycling.
Including: “How loud is it?” The answer by a port official — “it’s a very low hum” — is one of those things with the potential to come back to haunt a person.
Nonetheless, Hammer Says: Let’s give it a chance, folks. Some waterfront-adjacent neighbors are going to squawk about literally any job-related activity at the port (“30 trucks a day!” is surely already spreading on the socials). But nobody showed up at a public hearing to oppose it. And let’s remember that the port literally exists to move goods and promote economic activity. Limiting a lease to five years is evidence of lessons learned.
Also Full Disclosure: It’s another place where Hammer can swing in and pick up some gravel without driving to Juneau or worse, Ferndale.
Happy Feb, Folks: Remember, it’s slowly getting lighter, and will continue to unless the Earth’s present rotation is canceled by some pimply faced punk working for Elon Musk.
The Hammer, posted monthly and updated somewhat regularly, is the alter-ego and collective consciousness of CDN’s executive editor and staff, informed and inspired by the feisty, humor-capable readers of Cascadia Daily News. Don’t take him too seriously. Send comments, complaints or ideas for Hammer items to ronjudd@cascadiadaily.com.
