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The Hammer: December 2024 Perpetual Darkness Edition

Inaugural ballsiness, Allegiant Air and Maple Leaf nation

By B. Hammer Staff Grouch

Loose Change Dept.: Does anyone else want to kick in a million or two to the Donald J. Trump Second Time Around Inaugural Gala and Intergalactic Airing of Grievances Festival? The line forms behind Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos, two pathetic suckups who got picked last for kickball in fourth grade and have been taking it all out on the entire planet ever since.

Special Obsession-With-Fairness Points To: CDN ace business contributor Frank Catalano, who last week wrote 1,400 words about Allegiant Airlines’s 20-year local business strategies without once using the phrase, “nickel-and-dime.”

Speaking of That: A couple days after Frank’s piece, the Port of Bellingham, widely rumored to “manage” BLI, put out a social post with a nod toward Allegiant’s two decades at Bellingham Intergalactic Airport — an anniversary that actually passed months ago, in August. Was this circling back a down payment on PR guru Peter Frazier’s $100,000 port public-image reclamation project?

By the Way: Hammer has been meaning to ask: Shouldn’t there be some leftover Super Fund money to pay for that?

This Just In: The Canadian Government (motto: “With the Exchange Rate, Our Deep State is 25% Shallower!”) apparently has had enough of the shenanigans of the national postal union. The postal scofflaws have been on strike for weeks, basically ruining Maple Leaf Nation’s Christmas, if you believe Labor Minister Steven MacKinnon, who Friday vowed to force an end to the strike.

They’re Mad As Hell and …  MacKinnon said the nation’s 55,000 postal workers should be forced to return to work immediately, because “Canadians are rightly fed up.” We all know what that portends, which is …. well, nothing, beyond a few subtle grimaces. But still, they are ticked in their own adorable Canadian way.

Big Picture: Hammer joins those wondering why the Trudeau government can’t do something more innovative, like … you know, negotiate a deal.

On the Other Hand: The forced return to work might stave off any troublesome plans for an Emergency Pure Maple Syrup airdrop to northern states such as our own. Strategic reserves are running low, people.

Scooch Over, Whatcom County Jail Inmates: In a special emphasis patrol, Bellingham Police Department’s Loss Prevention Officers lurking at the Bakerview Fred Meyer along with store security folks, sent 23 suspects to the hoosegow for shoplifting and/or other related offenses and warrants on Dec. 5 and Dec. 10. Seized in the process were 63 grams of methamphetamine and a “realistic-looking airsoft pistol.”

More on That: Nothing funny, nor remarkable, there. Just passing along the good deeds via Megan Peters, BPD’s public information officer, who notes that it’s “a great example of our community partners working with us hand-in-hand to keep Bellingham safe.”

The Hammer, posted monthly and updated somewhat regularly, is the alter-ego and collective consciousness of CDN’s executive editor and staff, informed and inspired by the feisty, humor-capable readers of Cascadia Daily News. Don’t take him too seriously. Send comments, complaints or ideas for Hammer items to ronjudd@cascadiadaily.com.

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