Bellingham residents Marion Heyn and Edward Sugar have resuscitated the Whatcom Death Cafe, a long-running community group that meets monthly for uninhibited, judgment-free conversations about death, caregiving, end-of-life logistics and grieving.
A Death Cafe is a concept that has spread internationally and inspired thousands of small community gatherings. Death Cafe is not intended to be a support group or counseling session — rather, attendees take part in unstructured discussions about death with no agenda or themes, and enjoy coffee, cake, tea and treats.
Heyn acknowledged the Whatcom Death Cafe strays from those precepts slightly by offering a theme or guest speaker each month. But, she said, “there’s a hunger among the community for this information.”
Bellingham’s first Death Cafe began in 2013 and the group has waxed and waned through the years. Sugar and Heyn started attending in 2023, then got involved earlier this year when a previous organizer had health issues and couldn’t continue hosting the gathering.
“People want to know they’re not alone and that we all share similar thoughts and concerns,” said Sugar, who first learned about Death Cafe through a fellow church member.
Whatcom Death Cafe is now on the third Monday of the month from 6:30-8 p.m. at the Old Parish Hall of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, at 2117 Walnut St. in Bellingham.
October’s Death Cafe had a Dia de los Muertos theme and people brought photos of their dearly departed and shared about recent losses.
“I think people really appreciated being able to take part in a celebration of life,” Heyn said.
On Monday, Nov. 18, the Death Cafe topic will be conflict resolution. Sugar explained that conflict is natural and normal, but when it involves the end of a life, it can be especially difficult. Aaron Foss, the training coordinator at the Whatcom Dispute Resolution Center, will explain how the center can support people in having collaborative, constructive conversations on death-related issues.
December’s meeting, themed “Blue Christmas,” will include conversations about grieving during the holidays. January will be centered around books about death. For more information or to get involved with Death Cafe, email Heyn or Sugar at marionheyn13@gmail.com or edsugar21@gmail.com.
Julia Tellman writes about civic issues and anything else that happens to cross her desk; contact her at juliatellman@cascadiadaily.com.
